Have some fun! Enjoy some humor. It’s great to laugh. Check out these Christian funnies:
- You know those people using bibles on their phones? They are using phony bibles.
- What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds.
- Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
- Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
- What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
- Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down.
- Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan…)
- Real postings in church bulletins around the country:
- Attend the Fasting & Prayer Conference, it includes meals.
- The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
- Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
- Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”
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