Funnies

Funnies

Have some fun! Enjoy some humor. It’s great to laugh. Check out these Christian funnies:

  1. You know those people using bibles on their phones? They are using phony bibles.
  2. What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds.
  3. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?  Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
  4. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
  5. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
  6. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down.
  7. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan…)
  8. Real postings in church bulletins around the country:
  9. Attend the Fasting & Prayer Conference, it includes meals.
  10. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
  11. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
  12. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
  13. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
  14. Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  15. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  16. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  17. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  18. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  19. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  20. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  21. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  22. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

You are loved! Thank you for reading and having a laugh! Learn more about our values and beliefs.